Broken Home? Broken Heart?

 

Certain things just inspire me to write and to share my thoughts and even faith. Today (Christmas day), my wife and I went to our local Wawa gas station to get some gas for the car. As I walked into the the building to grab my wifes snacks and my own snacks and gas. There was a child outside with two boxes of wireless headphones. Now they weren't the expensive ones and the boxes were pretty beat up. But he asked me if I would like some " Air phones ". Now, at this moment I looked around to see who was with this kid. The boy looked no older than probably 9 to 10 years old. Before we met in the spot that he tried to pitch this sale to me I had saw another boy about the same age as well with the same boxes. The other boy just kept walking as this one pitched me the wireless earbuds. Yet, my attention was hoping that these kids weren't out and about by themselves. Since in all reality I don't live in the best of neighborhood. 

Finally, I saw the other kid walk up to an adult that also had the same boxes in his hand while also holding a T-Mobile bag. Which I guess would have had more boxes of those ear buds. I told the kid " I'm good lil man, thank you though." and continued with what I had went to the gas station to do. Could have I talked about Jesus at that moment? Yes, honestly thinking back now I could have. And one thing I pray to God is that He gives me boldness to speak to the public. Not necessarily like a street preachers but as one that just want to share the good news with others when I may have seen a need. But I know that God is working with me on that. 

However going back to the story, after making the payment for the gas and the items I returned to my wife's car and started pumping gas. My wife had seen the kids and how they were walking around in the gas station trying to sell these earbuds. While the adult looked over them from a distance. We spoke shortly about how sad it was to see these children out on a day like this. Thinking about how they should be with family enjoying this day together. I've always personally believed there's a time and place for everything. Especially a side hustle like what they were doing. Whether they were young or not. I think it hurted me more thinking about the possible lifestyle that they were living. 

Personally, like I've said before on the podcast and I believe in past posts I didn't grow up in a good area and I also grew up in a broken household. So to see these children outside it brought back some memories. And also reminded me where God took me out from. And that even though I'm not living lavishly. God has taken care of me, giving me what I need and making a way when there is no way. Because I can honestly say that there are more than plenty of times that I was in a hole and didn't know how to get out of it. But God has always made a way for my wife and me.

So, this brings me to the point of the post and why I titled this post the name it is. I know that was a long introduction but I personally believe that it was needed. Going further into a broken home and broken heart is the reason for this post. Seeing those kids and the adult made me look back in my personal life and what God has done and continues to do. And wanted to share that God is there for you too! 

Sometimes we as human beings and having feelings as being such, allow our pasts to take over our present and our future. Whether that's in or out of being a Christian (Just keep in mind however that Jesus is the way.). I used to always take steps forward but always take an extra step back blaming my past. Blaming the things that happened to me, allowing those things that scarred me to form my life. Little did I know that there was an answer to my pain and brokenness I saw, felt, and experienced. Jesus was the way and still is and always will be. Though my Christian life has been filled with inconsistencies, trials, and tribulations. God has always kept His hand in my life, reminding me He loves me. 

The first verses of scripture that I memorized was Matthew 7:7-8 which reads " Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. ". Clearly there's a lot more to that chapter and other lessons that Jesus was giving. Yet, this scripture hit me like car. It took the air out of me and put me to my knees. Then reading further 9-11 made me see something that I never saw before. But also made me question certain things. Yet, I came to the biggest conclusion that God my Father loves me and hears me no matter what I'm going through. And not only hears but cares. 

Now I know there are a lot of other verses in scripture that confirms God's love and care and so on. But these verses here changed everything for me. It made me fall in love, because I didn't have a consistent father figure in my life nor a father figure that gifted good gifts the way a father should. I'm not going to say that was always the case. I will however say it was most of the time. So what is this post about and what's the point of this post? 

Simple, the point is this. I know how it feels to come from a broken home, I know how it feels to see abuse and be abused. I know how it feels to have no food in the house, no heat during cold winters, no
cool air during the summers, no electricity because there wasn't enough money. Behind on rent because your mom didn't work and lived off of the government and could only do but so much with having to take care of 5 children on her own. I understand hurt coming from not having a biological mother or having a biological father that is present. 

I know how it feels going to a church and being judged,and hurt by the ones that call themselves also christians. I know how it all feels. There's more to me than what most people see. But I can say that God has truly transformed me from who I was to who I am and who God is molding me to be. So what I want to say to you is that God loves you. That He hears you even when you feel like your alone. Sometimes we grow up in tough situations. Ones we didn't have a choice to live and also made choices in the future because of those things in our past. But God and God alone can change that. Jesus is the way the truth and the life, and we need Him. If you're going through something just remember that God knew you first and loved you first. He will take care of you. All we have to do is surrender ourselves to Him and give Him all He wants from us. 

God bless.